Paranoial Syndrome...

Also traditionally known as The Blues, Spiritual Warfare and Timothy's Sorrow.

Bad news is, I can confirm that I've been suffering from it since Tuesday. So many things that I've been getting myself paranoid about. From the time that I was called a 'law-obeyer' to the moments when I feel as if being a Prefect makes me an outcast. I'm still doing all I can to cling on the 'mustard seed's worth of Faith', but things are really looking downhill for now. I'm facing depression as it stares at me in the face, and me staring back. Can't believe I'm writing a dramatic post, or as my friend would call a 'emo post'. This just makes me feel like playing 'Unfaithful' on any instrument I can get my hands on, but unfortunately I'm still having trouble with the piano. Here's the lyrics anyway:

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

He's more than a man
and this is more than love
the reason that this guy is blue
the clouds are rolling in
because I'm gone again
and to him I just can't be true

and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

[Chorus]
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

I feel it in the air
as I'm doing my hair
preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
He's here reluctantly
as if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
where I'm about to go
and we know it very well

cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

[Chorus]
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

Our love
His trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)

[Chorus]
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah eah eah...

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KIK-rDvwA8 - Music Video)

I don't want to write much about the misery, cause I know very well that the turning point of it all is just so close. All I have to do is just believe it's there. Don't ask about what situations I'm in: I can make it through in one piece with the help of the Lord.